Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
