how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
