I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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