so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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