I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
