:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
