Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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