I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
