it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
