so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm always down for nudity.
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