No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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