After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We left the knife in your bed.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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