yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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