I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
