Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
