Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
