If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
