Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
