Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Send help, water and tortillas.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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