Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
