omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
