Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
