Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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