Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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