Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
