Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
