Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
