Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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