this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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