pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
