Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
