if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
