but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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