Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
