laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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