Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
