oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
