Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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