Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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