I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
