Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
