There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
