i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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