I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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