So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
