Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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