So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
