fuck your aforementioned shoe
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
