i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
