every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
