Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
