And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
