ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
