I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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