i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
