I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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